Words and tools for difficult days
Short messages and planning sheets you can adapt, print, or save. No signup required.
Telling work
“Someone close to me has died. I need to discuss time away and what needs covering. Please let me know who I should speak to about the options available.”
You can add what coworkers may be told, how you want to be contacted, and when you expect to be able to discuss arrangements. Leave rules and entitlements to your employer’s policy and applicable local guidance.
Declining or changing a plan
“Thank you for including me. I cannot commit to coming this time.”
“I would like to try coming for a short while. I may leave early, and I would rather not make that a big conversation.”
Asking for specific help
“Could you bring something I can eat without cooking on Tuesday? Please check with me before choosing food.”
“Would you sit with me while I make these two calls? You do not need to know what to say.”
“Could you collect the children on Thursday? If not, that is completely okay.”
Checking in on someone
“Thinking of you today. No need to reply.”
“I remember that this date matters. Would you prefer company, a message, or some space?”
Avoid promising that someone will feel better soon or asking them to find a positive lesson. You can acknowledge the loss without explaining it.
A small plan for today
- One thing that really needs doing: ____________________
- One thing that can wait: ____________________
- A person or service I could ask: ____________________
- The specific help I could request: ____________________
- What I would like others to know—or not discuss: ____________________
A work-return conversation
- What can I realistically take on first? ____________________
- What should be covered by someone else for now? ____________________
- What may colleagues be told? ____________________
- Who can I contact if the plan needs changing? ____________________
- When will we review the arrangement? ____________________
An anniversary or holiday plan
- What I want to keep: ____________________
- What I want to change or skip: ____________________
- Who needs to know the plan: ____________________
- How I can leave or change my mind: ____________________
- A backup option if the day feels different: ____________________