Supporting someone
Specific things to say and offer, without trying to fix grief.
Make the offer easier to answer
Instead of asking someone to organize your help, offer something specific with a choice: “I can bring dinner on Thursday or do a grocery run. Would either be useful?” Respect a no, and do not arrive uninvited.
A short message does not need a response: “Thinking of you. No need to reply. I can check in again next week if that would be welcome.” These are examples to adapt, not rules about what every person wants.
Keep practical help practical
- Ask before sharing news, photographs, or details about the death.
- Check food preferences, allergies, timing, and delivery arrangements before bringing meals.
- Offer a task you can actually do, rather than an open-ended promise.
- Do not ask for the story of the death in exchange for company or help.